Walk it out

No, the title of this blog is not referring the the rap tune of the same name. (Although, I am sure all of you jumped to that conclusion...those who know me know that I have always been a huge fan of the hip-hop genre). Nonetheless, I am referring to a saying I once heard in a Sunday School class that went as follows: "You may be the only Bible that someone ever reads". How scary is that?!? I shudder to think of how many people that I have disillusioned through the years had they been reading my "scriptures". (Thank God for GRACE!)

A dear friend of mine died this week. Since his passing, I have spent some time thinking about the above statement and how perfectly my friend exemplified it. He taught me more about true faithfulness than anyone I have ever known. My friend Buddy Gilliland was born 77 years ago with severe cerebral palsy. He attended the same church that my family attended for the the vast majority of those 77 years. Buddy was a walking testament of God's love and the power of attitude. His speech was compromised but if you listened closely you could figure out what he was saying. I assume he got accustomed to repeating himself over and over to those of us who had a hard time understanding him. Most often times, Buddy would give you a big smile and laugh when you simply could not seem to grasp what he was saying...essentially letting you off the hook. He certainly would not want you to feel bad for not being able to understand him...that was Buddy.

Buddy would hitch a ride to my Grandmother's little country store and sit for hours at a time. He would greet everyone that came in the store with a big smile and wave. He was a master at the art of finding great joy in the small things. A pack of gum and a Dr. Pepper would light up his whole world. Buddy should have been the spokesperson for Dr. Pepper. If only we would have had the internet back when he was younger. We could have emailed the tape of Buddy taking his first sip of Dr. Pepper for the day to the Coke company. I am sure the company would have abandoned the lame logo "I would like to give the world a Coke" in favor of Buddy's big ole grin after taking a pull from that magic can.

As he grew more and more disabled I would go to his mother's house a few miles down the road to visit. More often times than not Buddy would be sitting in his room listening to sermons or praise music on tape. He also loved to sit by the road in his wheelchair and wave at passing cars. He had joy in the moment and it was most certainly not of this world. Buddy had the peace and also the joy that passeth all understanding. I know that is not in the Bible but it has been my experience that it is easier to find peace in the common moments than joy. If God's peace is supernatural the I think God's joy is SUPER- supernatural.

I cannot imagine how hard it would be to have a perfect mind that is trapped in a body that quite simply...will not cooperate. I cannot fathom the amount of work it took for him and his sweet parents to make it to church each Sunday. My brain cannot comprehend the amount of pain and discomfort he experienced on a daily basis. He had every excuse to be bitter. He had every reason to be angry at God. He made the choice to trust God and His infinite wisdom. He chose to believe that his cerebral palsy was not an accident or that God just happened to be on vacation that day. God allowed Buddy to touch many lives through his wonderful example of a life well lived. He did not have the luxury of using words as a crutch with regard to his testimony. Buddy had to depend on the power of his example to be the Bible that everyone who knew him was blessed to have read. There is no doubt in my mind that on this past Monday evening my friend was met at the the pearly gates by Saint Peter (probably holding the huge diamond and gold encrusted goblet filled to the brim with the most syrupy, sweet Dr. Pepper ever to have passed human or heavenly lips) . A perfect homecoming gift before hearing what we all hope to hear one day..."well done, my good and faithful servant!" I can only imagine his smile as he hears those words come from the the God he knew so well.

I feel so incredibly thankful to have been a privy to the beautiful dance that was the life of Buddy Gilliand. You will be missed my sweet friend. See you in a few.

Faithful in "small things"

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.(Luke 16:10)

You will never convince me that God doesn't have a sense of humor. He and I have many running jokes. One of His favorite (not mine) is when He tests me to see if I will be faithful in the "small things". By small things I mean REALLY small things. The other day, for instance, I had mistakedly placed a travel-size tube of "Boudreaux's Butt Paste" diaper rash ointment under my daughter's carrier at Target. Only when I reached the car and lifted my daughter out of the shopping cart did I spot it and realize that I had not payed for it. I thought "here we go again, God". I am going to be honest, this one was not easy. It was a TRAVEL SIZE for heaven's sake! I already had my girl in the car and Target was my last stop of the day. Did I mention that it was 100 degrees and crazy humid that day? Well it was, and I was parked at the end of the parking lot. I cranked up the car and told God that it was too dangerous for my girl to have to be out in this heat and I promised to mail Target a check for the diaper rash cream. I had formulated my plan of action in my head about how I was going to call them back when I got home and tell them what happened. I would then mail them a check for the amount of the cream. Nope, no peace with that option. I continued to drive in circles in the Target parking lot. (Secretly hoping that God would send me a sign by giving me a front door parking place). That did not happen and after putting a mile or so on my car riding around the Target parking lot, I made it inside to pay for the "butt paste". It would have been too easy to pick up the Desitin that day but NOOOOOO.......

Another such test arrived during a quick trip to TJ Maxx. This particular incident involved a pair of underwear that the cashier had forgotten to ring up and put in my sack. I guess I was in a far more spiritual place that day because I only sat in my car for a few minutes wondering if I really "HAD" to go and make it right. When I arrived back in the store the line was out the wa-zoo. I waited in line twenty minutes or so and finally made it up to the counter. I am so annoyed at this point and keep reminding God that he needs to make sure to recognize what an ordeal this is...thinking that maybe he would give me a little extra credit. As I reach the counter I pull out my "merchandise" and the reciept. Before I could even begin my explanation the lady running the register launches into a rather loud (or so it seemed)soliloquy on how TJMaxx does not allow people to return underwear. Really God, Really?!? I am sure He is laughing as this scenario plays out. I interrupted her to explain that I had not paid for the underwear. She looked a little puzzled and I continued to explain that I guess the cashier had missed them and I realized it when I reached the car. That is when she looked at me and said "girl, you came all the way back in here and waited in line to pay for a pair of CLEARANCE underwear?" What do you say to that question. "Yes I did and GOD BETTER BE NOTICING!!" is what I was thinking.

It would have been so much easier if it was something larger and more expensive like a shirt or a TV. That is an easy call! That is never my test, it is always some small insignificant item or task. It usually pretty simple just involving a few extra steps like taking the shopping cart to the holding area and not leaving it in front of my car (even if I am sure it won't roll into someone else's car)or returning clothes that I have tried on back to the proper rack (instead of hanging them on the first one that I see). On occasion, I think God needs a laugh and will let me make it out of the store with some stolen butt paste or clearance underwear.

Obedience school at Starbucks

I find it fascinating the times and places that God uses to teach me His ways. I think that I am a quick learner in most things, especially things I am interested in. Obedience has never really been my favorite subject. When I hear a preacher begin a sermon with "today we are going to talk about obedience", I pretty much tune him out. Obedience, righteousness and repentance have always sounded so religious and unattainable. And, quite frankly, I like to have things my way! However, God wants me to live His way so he taught a me wonderful lesson a few years ago about obedience. I often reflect back on that lesson and I wanted to share how God sent me to obedience school one Tuesday morning at the Starbucks in Chattanooga, TN.

It was a normal weekday morning as I headed to the Walmart Tire and Lube Express to have new tires put on my car. I was already a little out of sorts as this is not the way that I like to spend money. The "fun factor" ranks right up there with buying a new washer, toaster or vacuum cleaner. You only spend money on these things when it is absolutely necessary. Anyway,I arrived at Walmart at exactly 6:45 a.m. so that I would be the first person in line. The Walmart tire and lube express opens at 7 a.m. and I was eager to get this done and get on my way. I had some classwork to do at the time so I planned to make this experience a little less painful by walking across the street and getting a cup of coffee at Starbucks while my tires were being replaced. Much to my chagrin, the tire and lube center was not open. The sign says they open at 7 a.m. Well 7 a.m. came and went as did 7:15 and 7:30. I grew more and more agitated with every trip to see if the door was open. Each time that I checked, I would huff and stare at the LARGE sign that had the hours posted. I had already started to formulate the conversation in my head that I was going to have with the manager. You know the one, "my time is important", "if this were MY business....", "standard of excellence", blah, blah, blah! Then the door swings open as I stand there with my hands on my hips taking a mental account of how "right" I am. The lady that opens the door shoots me a glare and never says a word. I follow her into the building and am still waiting for the answer as to why she is late. She goes behind the counter and proceeds to ignore me as I stand there waiting for an explanation or at the very least "can I help you?". She turned her back to me which only turned up my anger. I asked her in the most passive-agressive tone I could muster, "what time does the Tire and Lube Express open?" She whipped around, glared at me and said "whatever time I open the door". I stood there stunned by her insulting answer... only adding to my intolerant injury. I was honestly so shocked by her answer that I was speechless...for a moment. It is moments like these that remind me as to why I don't have a "Jesus Fish" or "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker on my car. I am terribly afraid that I am going to give My Jesus a bad wrap. On this particular day, I was feeling more like Jerry Springer and less like Jesus. At that very moment, another man rounded the corner and asked if he could help me. This put a stop to our little "discussion". I was glad for the reprieve as I needed some to formulate my tirade and make sure to hit all my points before I let her have it. So I followed him to pick out my tires. All the while I was busy mapping out my imaginery conversation with the manager as to why this woman needs to be fired. After all, I would be doing Walmart a favor. This woman was a horrible employee and should be working FAR, FAR away from normal people and animals.

After I finished picking out my tires, I made a quick turn towards the front of the store to inform the store manager that he had a rogue employee on his hands. I also had numerous suggestions as how to handle her being a business owner myself. As I walked to the front of the store I heard a "still, small voice" tell me to "go to Starbucks, you can tell him when you get back". Over and over; I heard this deafening, quiet voice urging me to go on to Starbucks. It was almost audible. It was not in my head, because all my head wanted to do was be unkind, hurtful and to tell on her. It was my spirit saying "not now, go to Starbucks".

I only obeyed because I thought it would give me time to write down my points and make my case before meeting with the manager. I certainly did not want to come off like a raving lunatic. So off to Starbucks I went and spent the next two hours or so working on schoolwork, drinking coffee and still having the imaginary conversation with this woman and the store manager in my head. By this time the imaginary conversation had grown to include the store manager, one of the Waltons and quite possibly, the president of the United States. I wanted vindication, I was right and I wanted everyone to know it. My friend Ruthie always says "do you want to be right or do you want to be kind?" I can tell you the honest truth...I wanted to be right. Kind was not on the radar. As I gathered my books to head out the door to go back to pick up my car I once again heard that "still, small voice". The voice said "get that lady a cup of coffee". Needless to say, I kept walking. Get her a cup of coffee?! I don't think so! I continued to walk through the parking lot, all the while hearing the same voice. By the time I reached th intersection to cross the street in front of Walmart, I had become nauseous. Did you know disobedience can make you sick to your stomach...well, it can. "OK, OK!!!", I told God and turned around to go get the tire and lube express lady a cup of coffee. I got up to the counter and ordered the small, plain old coffee. There is went again, the voice told me to get her one of those large, calorie-laden, whipped cream topped sugar bombs that Brittany Spears is always drinking. So I did, huffing and puffing about it the whole way. As I got ready to walk out the door, same voice again..."go back and get her one of those cookie things.... you just don't understand". I explained to God that sugar is incredibly inflammatory and that I was sure than the coffee alone was going to send this poor lady's blood sugar through the roof. Again He whispered to me "you just don't understand". After arguing for a bit, I did it and figured that the sugar crash she would surely have that afternoon would be my vindication. Anyway, I walked back into the tire and lube express with coffee and cookie in hand. Having no idea why and having argued with God about it the whole way. I approached the counter with absolutely no words and handed her the coffee and cookie. It was then and only then that the words that came from me were most certainly that of the Holy Spirit. I opened my mouth and told her that "I was so sorry if we got off to a bad start and that I wanted to give her a peace offering." She looked at me as though I was "out of my tree". Then with tears in her eyes, she began to tell me a story that changed my life forever. As she stood behind the counter and wept, she told me about how her daughter was on drugs and how she was having to raise her grand-daughter who is 15 years old. She said that this very morning her grandaughter had told her that she was pregnant.She continued to tell me that she is all alone and has no idea what she was going to do. She said the conversation with her grand-daughter had made her late for work. I felt compassion that only comes from heaven as I listend to this grandmother who was about to be a great grandmother share her weary story. She would be responsible for the third generation before the second one was even grown. Of course she was late this morning, and of course she was curt. Of course the words that I heard in my spirit, "you just don't understand..." were God's way of telling me that I had no idea what was going on behind the scenes. The cool thing is that God knew...He always knows and He ALWAYS cares.

I still am not sure how she was even upright that Tuesday morning. Yet in the peace offering, God granted her a place of peace to share her hurt and share her burden. Funny thing about shared burdens, they make all parties feel lighter. I left humbled and grateful, prayerful and pensive. The great Teacher had shown up in my world today, and surprisingly, the student learned.

Still His work in Progress,
Heather

Do Something

It occured to me this morning that I have a real issue with momentum.I use the following lines on my clients all the time..."just move", "do something, ANYTHING to get you closer to where you want to go". These are all so true..I know it. I have even advised clients to exercise for 5 minutes to just keep in the habit. A perfect example of this is a client that I use to train (you know who you are) who would sleep in her exercise clothes to be sure to make it to her 6 a.m. exercise class. She would roll into the gym, huge coffee cup in hand, un-brushed teeth and a bad case of "bus hair". (Bus hair: def: what your hair looks like in grade/middle school when you have to jump out of bed and run for the bus sans shower and hairbrush). She knew that her entire day was better when she exercised in the morning. This is no small task to work into your day when you work full-time and have two little ones. She did it and she still does.

As I thought about sitting down and writing this blog I instantly thought of many excuses as to why I did not have the time. It seems I try to convince myself that it must be ten pages long, then I will have to to check grammar and spelling numerous times so I don't come off sounding like a donkey. ( In case you are wondering, I have decided to give up this step for today so only judge me on content please.)It is the same dance that I do in my head when it is time to clean the house. I feel so overwhelmed when it comes to cleaning the house. The job seems so big. If only I would take my own advice and "DO SOMETHING" every day. It takes a few minutes everyday to write a short blog entry. It keeps me writing and that is THE BIG SOMETHING that I know I need to be doing right now. That bible study will not write itself.

Here is the interesting part about momentum, if you do something...you tend to do more somethings as the day progresses. So now I am off to clean a mirror, make a squash/ zucchini quiche and feed my girl some sweet potatoes. Maybe I will even vaccum up the dog hair and empty some suitcases. Nah, let's not get crazy.